My children told me this morning that they were the children of Santa, they were split up at birth and that their mother is Mrs Christmas but also a spy that works for the British Army. Santa and Mrs Christmas met in an Olive tree whilst she was chasing butterflies and…er…spying…

Unfortunately Santa became pregnant with the children as did Mrs Christmas and when they were giving out presents they dropped them (the babies) all over the world, and they have amnesia and now don’t remember any of it. (Mr and Mrs Christmas have amnesia not the babies, they remember everything)

However before they told me that story, this happened…

‘Mum, I want to open the Christmas presents’ we have lots of lovely presents that have arrived from the family and they are all sitting there under the tree…tempting the kids.

‘You can’t, it is not Christmas’

‘Who says I can’t?’

‘We do and it is not Christmas’

‘I want to change Christmas it is annoying and anyway I am an UNSCHOOLER I can do what I want. It is not up to you it is up to me!’

‘It doesn’t quite work like that I am afraid, you can’t do exactly what you want to do, we are here to support you, give you guidelines, help you with your learning, teach you how the world works, keep you safe, feed you the right kind of foods etc…’

‘Yes but I want to open my presents now, it is really really annoying waiting’

Our son wants the world to back off, step away, he wants to bake biscuits and use whatever he wants from the cupboard, regardless of how they turn out. If he wants to open his presents now then I think, why not? In fact why not who decided this Christmas thing anyway…

How to teach the ways of the world? How to be there in a good way and gently guide from the side lines? Without just saying ‘That is just the way it is, so there!’ which is what I feel like saying sometimes but I know that that is not the way to ease him in to a world of boundaries, of learning how to hold back and not be impulsive, of learning how to wait just that one extra day for your Christmas presents.

So did we let him open his presents? No. Did we offer up the possibility of opening his presents? Yes. And we told him about the consequences. ‘But’ he pleaded, I will only open ONE! ‘Ok’ we said, he decided not to and he spent the morning cross.

However, tomorrow he will open all the presents and one day he will teach his kids the same thing, or not…

Also tonight he is aiming to catch Santa by making a trap out of string and he will tell him that he is his long lost son and that Santa gave birth to him in India but that he probably doesn’t remember. He will also tell him that his wife, Mrs Christmas, gave birth to twins and she dropped one in China and one in Korea on the same night.

And then he will ask him, as he is the Son of Santa, what must he do when he grows a beard?

Happy Christmas Everyone!